Hello, where has this year gone? I hear it’s August. Pfft. It’s clearly some kind of conspiracy. It is a mixed bag of a newsletter this month, which I suppose it always is. If there is anything you would like to hear more about, please let us know.
The Overshare is broken up into seven sections: Listen Up–for all things auditory and musical, All The Feels–for sensory gadgets and neurodivergent products we are loving, Off The Shelf–bookish things including what we are reading and upcoming events, Uh Oh–life disasters, bloopers and social mistakes, Leaving The House–pretty self explanatory, Who Put Me In Charge–challenges in parenting, executive functioning, and life admin, and Scratch Pad–to share new writing bits and pieces. Let’s do it.
Listen Up
Kay: I have been listening to a podcast called Two Sides of The Spectrum lately and enjoying all of their episodes, particularly the interview with Harry Thompson on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Harry is a UK-based autistic public speaker and writer, and I found his insights really helpful in understanding certain autistic presentations. The whole podcast is about amplifying autistic voices, and there are great episodes that touch on race, culture, trauma, autistic motherhood, and gender.
Anna: I realised my music was stagnating, so I braved the ‘new music’ automatic play list. Woah, did you know new music can be great? Discombobulating, I know. I love familiar and comfortable things. More than individual songs, lines stick in my mind, like ‘I don’t like the real world’. Understood. Or ‘I’ve had a million bodies’. Wow, I mean… that’s a lot of bodies, right? Do they mean reincarnation? Followed by another song with, ‘the moss just grows in my heart’. The visuals make my mind spin and churn. Moss makes me think of my dear friend Deanna Ann who writes that most magical tales but won’t share them with the world (yes, you).
All The Feels
Kay: I am sad to report that not a single slime company has yet offered me sponsorship, but I did recently order some new slimes and they are a sensory delight. I want to talk particularly about Bingsu slime, named after a traditional Korean dessert that comes with sweet toppings. In the slime world, Bingsu slime is super crunchy, with lots of little beads and charms to mix in. They also make for really good ASMR videos. My default mode lately has been overwhelmed, so sensory seeking has been important to help me regulate. I guess impulsive online shopping is also a symptom of that overwhelm. I ordered mine from Scoopi Slime Shop.
Anna: Completely unreasonable on the sponsorship! Between us, Kay, honestly. To add to the ASMR joy, we’ve been eating mochi balls (definition in image alt text). You get to EAT your SQUISHY TOYS. Okay, so that’s maybe a bit mean, we love our squishimals with their softness and wobbly bodies. We even know how to wash them when they get dirty (warm soapy water but then a layer of cornflour or baby powder!). But the mochi balls? You get to finally do the thing you can never do… *bites in*. I’m trying the red bean ones in an attempt to more authentic to their Japanese origins. I’ll admit I prefer the sweet custard or strawberry!
Off The Shelf
Kay: In some surprising and lovely bookish news, Social Queue has been shortlisted for the QLD Literary Awards. I have had no expectations for this book, other than hoping it finds its readers, so this is thrilling. The whole shortlist is wonderful and I feel honoured to be alongside such brilliant authors.
Anyway, moving swiftly along! Now that I’m in a nice lull with my writing, I have been catching up on reading. I have some recommendations! I have loved Completely Normal (And Other Lies) by Biffy James, If You’re Happy by Fiona Robertson, and Sugar by Carly Nugent.
I also want to recommend Rhiannon Wilde’s latest YA novel, Where You Left Us, although it isn’t out for a couple of weeks. I did an endorsement read for this book, and am truly obsessed with it. I’m impatient for people to read it so we can talk about how great it is. It is a dual perspective narrative with two sisters, and the tagline does a better job of summing it up than I can:
A glittering gothic mystery about healing, home and how to pick up the pieces when you feel left behind.
Anna: Ahhh! Kay, CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is a huge achievement, and well deserved <3
I’m also holding Where You Left Us, and super excited for the beautiful Rhiannon having her novel out. I’m lucky enough to have my advanced copy arrive *yesterday* and can’t wait to dive in! Very impressed Kay does endorsements now 💪. I’ve also been rereading Penni Russon’s middle grade novel The Endsister and could honestly laugh cry at every page. Five plus stars. Next with kid? Hopefully Nova Weetman’s new novel Elsewhere Girls.
Uh Oh
Kay: I had to cancel an upcoming workshop and online event that I had been planning for most of the year due to burnout and it really sucks :( At the moment I feel as though 90% of my energy goes to parenting, supporting, and advocating for my kid. It has been a huge year in that space and my commitment to prioritising this is non-negotiable. The remaining 10% has to be divided up between everything else and there just isn’t enough time/energy/spoons to do all the things start-of-the-year-me wanted to do. Parental advocacy feels like invisible work and I have so much respect for all of the wonderful people I learn from (including Anna!) who have been navigating these systems for years. I do hope to reschedule in the new year so I will let you know.
Anna: I accidentally showed a gamer friend an image that, to me, had overtly problematic gender representations. His lack of understanding regarding the issues lit a flame in me I’ve kept low for many years. I was furious he couldn’t see what I saw, or accept what this meant for the state of gender equality. My big mistake was forgetting how much I’ve learned. How twenty-ish years at a university, and then being part of the writing crowd, means my ‘bubble’ of people is like me. I love that gaming broadens my friendship base and opens my eyes to how other people live and think, but gee it can hurt to realise how far we have to go before gender representation is off the agenda. It hurts that being part of a community can be painful for my (autistic) sense of right and wrong.
Leaving The House
Kay: It is really hard to do this at the best of times, let alone during a Covid peak! With the school holidays and my recent deadline, I noticed how much I had been isolating myself socially, and the impact that was having on my mental health. Thank goodness for group chats and DMs and friends who understand. In the last couple of weeks, I have made more of an effort to get back out there (in Covid-safe ways) and spend time with the people who make me feel safe and seen and happy. Coffees with a view and slow walks and beach visits have helped me to shift my mindset and feel more like myself again. Did I mention I submitted my book?? That also might have helped…
Anna: My contribution is more about planning to go out. In two years my youngest child will finish primary school, and our tradition goes that she will get a special trip with mum. And mum’s mum. To Thailand. I’ve managed this twice now, and I can’t wait for my third and final ‘welcome to the wider world’ trip. As most people know, I was born in Bangkok. The Chao Phrya river has appeared in my dreams often, and is an endless source of fascination for me. For the next two years I will absorb all YouTube content on recent changes, plan, and save. I believe it’s important to show the kids how capable they are as we live a rather sheltered life at home. I know travel with a disability is different, but I’m getting better at the adjustments. The focus can still be on the people, culture, food, language, transport, and the sheer sense of adventure… I love it all.
I always thought I’d write a book set in Bangkok, who knows? Either way, mai pen rai, what will be will be.
Who Put Me In Charge
Kay: I think I have mentioned equine therapy here before, and how beneficial it is for my whole household. Animals heal us, and horses are incredible. But you know what other animals are also healing and incredible? Chickens! Our equine therapist has her own flock of eccentric chickens, and she has been talking to us a little bit about an animal assisted learning program called Chickens To Love, developed by autistic teenager Summer Farrelly. Starting school has been quite hard for my kid, and chickens are bringing us all a lot of joy. SO much joy, in fact, that we are in the process of getting our own. It is early days–the coop is on its way, the eggs have been ordered (we have decided to hatch our own, as my kid is particularly interested in eggs of all kinds and the hatching process), and I am currently reading anything and everything I can about how to be a good chicken owner. Tips greatly appreciated. I will report back with chicken photos once they are here.
Anna: Kay! We need to talk chickens! We’ve had many over the years. Some from eggs, and some had chicks, and we certainly ate a lot of eggs. We no longer have chickens. In an area with sneaky snakes it was a little fraught. From guinea pigs to chickens to lizards, pets are a wonderful learning experience for kids. Why do I always feel like the Grim Reaper to Kay’s sunny brightness? I heard a saying recently, ‘children are never too young to learn how to bury’. Okay well maybe umm sorry…
Kay: Haha, Anna!
Scratch Pad
Kay: I promise when I am able to share something from the new thing this will be where I do it.
In the meantime, a piece of writing that I enjoyed recently that is not mine, is this by Keah Brown about the Lizzo/Beyonce ‘sp*z’ slur lyrics situation.
Love reading about your experiences and how you overcome the little speed bumps of life. Autism and travelling are uneasy companions at the moment (am in the UK for the second time this year) but you both make me smile ☺
Thank you again for being my wonderful online email fwends. I feel less lonely reading The Overshare. Mochi = yum and I’m totally understanding burnout presently. All the best